Thursday, June 02, 2005

the dawning of a new era begins...tomorrow!

The title of my post comes from an episode of the UK drama Cold Feet that I was watched's too long to describe, but basically a guy says "the dawning of a new era begins today!!" then has to admit that it clashes with a board meeting, so really "the dawning of a new era begins tomorrow." His wife says "doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?" Well, I thought it was funny, guess you had to be there.

After going for a walk, I'm feeling much more energised, focused and positive.

I've realised that:

~ The path to enlightenment is meant to be rocky. What would be the point of a ridiculously easy life?

~ I make things difficult for myself by not having a positive attitude to things - I am more likely to be cynical or not trust in the motives of people around me. Ultimately, though, cutting myself off from people won't make me happy (or enlightened!)

~ The resentment I feel about the past is making me unhappy, so I need to let it go for the sake of the future and the present.

~ And an interesting Buddhist principle that seems pertinent: Reciprocity, which means that the qualities we perceive in others are the qualities that we draw from them.

So on a day that follows a week of uneasiness and dare I say it, unhappiness, I am feeling slightly better now. I hope my relationship isn't over, but if it is, I've lost the one person who I feel is the other half of my self. But I've learnt something from it and might have just taken the first step towards letting go of the past and all the resentment that comes with those memories.